Tag Archives: feelings

The scary thing about love

I’m almost positive that when you read this, you might feel the same.

 

It all started with a morning conversation about kissing. we laughed, there were questions, and then you told me you were in love with me.

My heart was pulsing so much I could hardly concentrate on the meeting I was in. Finally the one I adored, was in love with me..

Days and weeks went by, happy, like never before.

And one sad day I woke up realizing that something big happened and I wasn’t even aware of it all.

I regret ever asking you about it

Because it all went down in flames

I cried, you cried

And then you told me you couldn’t do it anymore, not the way we are use to be together.

Now

I listen to the voice notes you sent me, saying… Baby.. I.. Really love you

And it plays over and over in my head and in my heart, because I’m still there and you’re nowhere to be found

 

And now…

Even in the briefest of moments I get glimmers of who we use to be

The love we shared, the happiness

 

And now…

I’m left behind

Because there’s so many things waiting for you

While I just sat, waiting for you

 

Because..

There has never been anyone else for me, you were the first, you’ll be the last

 

A heart can only scar that many times

And I won’t beg to be hurt, yet another day

 

Love..

The girl you left behind.

 

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… Broke the ice

It was just a moment before
I leaned over
I didn’t ever have time
to look over my shoulder
Back to everything pushing.

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No reason to return.
I just took the step…

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I broke the ice.
It might have cut me here and there.
But I had to take the dive, there are no stairs.
Colder than cold, it swallowed me whole, forgetting all I ever have been told.

What is this love that everyone speaks about?
The thing pulling you from the depths,
That thing that leaves you without regrets…

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I am captured by the words I never say
I choose to leave them for the “right day”.
But now I am sure that it will never come. It’s going to be left… undone

Where do the feelings go?
After everything goes quietly still.
What should be used, to fill:
The open emptyness, the pain alive,
The reason I even took the dive.

Danger filling my lungs as I run, pushing further than I should instead.
And when it’s done, I’ll cry on my bed.

Love has fled.
And I am left here on my bed…
Filled with regrets,
Of words I never said….

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So I’ll swim through the tears,
The ones no one ever hear.
I’ll hit the shore, and seek some warmth, To fill the cold, to help me fold.

Because sometimes I think we all are a little lost, in moments of bliss…
Searching for someone who doesn’t even exist.

The ocean is love

The ocean is love in its most human form

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Shallow at some point, at the beginning, but it deepens to unmeasurable depths.
It’s the brightest blue, reflecting all the happiness around, soaking up the warmth of the sun, kissing the earth with its presence.

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But when clouds turn dark and it starts to rain, it draws in.
Darker eruptions of waves covering the core, in complete chaos.

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Wrecking everything,  outing anger as some part of it hurts, dies.

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Trying to protect all the irreplaceable things, but somehow all defences fail, and it’s lost.
In the end, breaking down.
A scary calmness, restlessly moving two waves forward and one wave back.

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Leading all its brokenness ashore, waiting for someone to pick up all the broken pieces and let it know.
Everything
                     Will
                             Be
                                   Okay..